Mike & Making Moonshine = Not a Good Mix

Yesterday I was talking to my mom about this batch of moonshine that I made up. Don't get me wrong here, I don't actually make the alcohol, but I use some pretty heavy stuff and some additives. It'll still knock you on your ass faster than you can count to ten... My mom mentioned that she'd like to try some. Sadly enough, it was all gone, I gave some away and took the other batch to the man who taught me the secret art and we pounded it all back between the two of us and a few others. I figured you know... I am out, but I'll go out and buy some more supplies and toss some together for my parents and sister who'll be coming down tomorrow. I heat up the cast iron skillet, add some sugar and ugh... OH SHIT!!! The skillet was way to hot, the second the sugar touched it's surface, it dissipated into a thick white smoke that quickly filled the apartment. As I ran around opening up all of the windows all I could think about is when Sarah had just woken up, rolling over in bed and told me that, "it smells like smores..." I didn't understand how, to me it smelled like the marshmallow man from Ghost Busters had taken a giant dump in our apartment. As I walked from the back bedroom, which still smells like burnt sugar (24 hrs later) I couldn't even see down the hall to the end of the apartment, the smoke was that thick. After it all cleared out, I sat back and contemplated rather or not it was worth it to try and make it again. By this time it was about midnight. Being me, I couldn't go to bed a failure, so I attempted again and created a masterpiece of brewing efforts. It came out tasting great and I look forward to forcefeeding it my parents and sister. I finally got to bed around 1:30.

Oh, have I every told any of you how much I hate the Holidays? Not that I hate Christmas or New Years. There isn't any other time to have the excuse to get plastered on hard egg nog or drink your liver crazy than this time of year. I hate wrapping presents. Before the incident with the moonshine, I was shopping. I don't have a problem shopping except for when retarded people are out doing it the same time I am... not to offend anyone, I am not talking about the handicapble people. I am talking about the other people... I hate dealing with parking and I hate dealing with people who can't control their shopping carts... and bowls... yea, had a bad experience with that this year. Standing next to another gentlemen looking at some cooking stuff and he rips ass multiple times, not just once, more like 3 times... very noticeably too.

Anyways, I get home I am happy went through hell to find presents for the wife, and I was glad to be in the comfort of my own home. Then the dreaded thing... wrapping them. It took me a full hour to wrap two presents. If you look at the wrapping, it isn't even wrapping. It is wrapping paper rolled around the item and then bunched up at the edges and tapped down... literally... Anyhoo, it feels good to have this year under wraps... ha... ha... but I am already dreading next years holiday season.